My Poems

Autumnal Frosts | Bare Ground | Chasing the Setting Sun | Cold Shadows | Dad | Earthbound | Fear | Finger | Frustration | HaikuI Search for Words | Identity Theft | Imagine |In a Clearing | In Asda | Loneliness |My Demons Come | My Fair Love | My Heart Hangs Still | No-thing | Of Life and Love and Dust and Lust | On Winter | Resurrection |Surrounded | The Black Mists | The Last Pint |Words | You | Wanted to Die

These are my poems, not all of them as I’ve spared you the worst! The poems represent some 15 years of my life, some relate to people I know or have known, some were inspired by something someone I knew had said or done, some were just created purely out of imagination or to try to write in a particular style.


Autumnal Frosts

The year has been
And turned
As my thoughts daily
Turn to what has been

The seasons cycle on
Spirits rising
With each new
Day’s sun

And yet, I await
The Autumn’s
First chill days
Heralding Winter Snows

For you are no longer
Here to raise my
Spirits high
As once you did my flesh
Top
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Bare Ground

I stand
Beneath the sky
I stand
Bare foot
On bare ground

People stand
Around me
People stand
Feeling
Through the bare ground
Top
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Chasing the Setting Sun

Bordering on the edge of insanity
I chase the setting sun Westwards
On the M62
Racing the clouds
Racing the hills
As they cover the daylight
Between them
Music plays loud
Belying my age
Except that it’s rock
Not hip hop
The chords
Break on my body
The riffs
Course with my blood
Sadly
At Halifax
Circumnavigating the roundabout
I turn East
My back to the setting sun
Driving beneath dark clouds
Music still loud
But never topping seventy
Top
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Cold Shadows

Already I feel cold shadows steal
Where once lived light and warmth
And when the morrow comes around
The candles guttered out
No more laughter shall I hear
Just silence echoes there
For Hope leaves me alone
Top
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Dad

Plant me in the garden, Son,
Plant me anywhere
‘Cos when I’m dead and gone, my son,
I won’t really care.
Top
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Earthbound

The sound of distant journeys
Echo through the skies
I find I start to wonder how
We lead our separate lives
Earthbound
With bird song in the air
I wonder how many
Have sat here with their care
Earthbound
I gaze across the Land
And everywhere I gaze
I can truly see man’s hand
But this raw material
As I am now to you
And were it not pre-gathered
What would the long-gone people
Find that they could do
And so I find I wonder
On raised hill still earthbound
Of where we take our lives
And whither we are bound
Top
——————————————————————

I Fear You

I fear you
I fear your anger and your scorn
They batter me
As the thunderstorm
The farmer’s ripening corn
Top
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Left hand’s
Finger flesh
Touches throat flesh
Caresses breast flesh
Tweaks nipple flesh
Right hand’s
Finger flesh
Stroking belly flesh
Sliding under denim
Sliding under gossamer
Seeking woman flesh
Ears hearing breathing
Deep breath
Slow breath
Faster breath
Still breath
Sensing tension in her body
Sensing tension growing
Sensing tension building
Sensing tension overflowing
Sensing release.

Top
——————————————————————

Frustration

Oh woman, please !
‘Tis only just
That thou keeps pace
With my own lust !
For I am now come
To my peak
And I will gladly
Love’s words speak
If thou will but
Come to my bed !
Top
——————————————————————

Haiku

Friendless and alone
I must learn to face the white wall
Of  my cancerous life
Top
——————————————————————-

I Search for Words

I search for words to help me heal
From wounds you think I never feel
My emotions raw and burst right through
Hard to believe you know not what you do

The fight I’ve fought with one hand tied
Strange I’m not the one who lied
That role goes to first violin
Victory I now concede to him

How apt that on Independence Day
We seem intent each to our way
For like two nations I fear we’ll part
Knowing my heart is ripped apart

Knowing no other way to be
It seems your comfort I can’t be
So thus it ends? I take my fall?
I’ve nothing left, I gave my all

Compete I don’t nor ever should
With he who would be understood
For he came first and I came last
Karma’s judgment on my past!
Top
——————————————————————

Identity Theft

They talk, these days,

  • Of identity theft,
  • Of Pin Numbers, log-ins and passwords,
  • Of guarding these,
  • Of making sure your identity is safe,

But these don’t guard against Dementia;
That cruel, insidious thief,

  • Which steals memories of the then and now,
  • Which steals part-formed thoughts from the mind as icy blasts steal the body’s breath,
  • Which steals relationships, piece, by piece, by piece, by piece…

Replacing them with…what?
If not with nothing, then perhaps with,
Confusion,
Or Pain,
Or Sadness for something not remembered,
But not quite lost,
Leaving traces as do early morning mists,
Or Fear – but not of
Death, for Death means release from

  • Torment,
  • Love becoming hatred,
  • Uncertainty,

Dreams of Death.
Top
——————————————————————

Imagine

Imagine standing
In a clearing
On a hill-top
Day is ending
Evening waiting
Red sky fading
Birds are flying
Homeward winging
Softly calling
Top
——————————————————————

In a Clearing

In a clearing
In the woodland
In the forest
Wind is blowing
Dark clouds scudding
Light is fading
Darkness falling
Fear approaching
Top
——————————————————————

In ASDA

It was Friday night,
In ASDA,
I turned a corner
And stopped,
And thought,

She’s Dead
Alison’s dead

It was Friday night,
In ASDA,
I turned a corner,
And stopped,
And thought

It’s been two years
And more – why then this ?

It was Friday night,
In ASDA,
I turned that corner,
And stopped,
And thought

It’s strange –
Each day afresh

It was Friday night,
In ASDA,
I walked down the aisle
(Past magazines I think)
And thought

But that’s the way:
It strikes like that.

It was Friday night,
In ASDA,
I stopped walking.
I paused,
And thought

I know.
Her body’s dead

It was Friday night,
In ASDA,
I stood;
Still paused,
And thought

Why then is it
This thought is fresh ?

It was Friday night,
In ASDA:
I walked on
(Past families and lovers I think)
Towards the flowers

Fresh flowers –
A symbol of our love

It was Friday night,
In ASDA:
I stood
And looked
Then bought red roses

They’re beautiful
But grown to die.

It was Friday night,
In ASDA,
I picked them
And took them
And paid for them

I thought of you
In ASDA
Top
——————————————————————

Loneliness

He sits on the bench in the car park
His loneliness plainly declared
“He’s there again Mum, Billy No Mates”
Can be seen in the face if not heard.
“He’s always there Mum, is that old man
A bottle of coke by his side”
“Now come on, our Johnnie, keep walking,
Let’s hurry and get on inside!”
“But Mum, what’s his problem, do tell me,
I can’t work it out on my own.”
“I don’t know son, perhaps he’s just lonely,
Has no friends he can play with or phone.
Now come on our Johnnie and help me
To carry this shopping back home”
“But Mum, I understand some things;
All grown ups have friends of their own.”
“Ah. Johnnie, how simple your life is.
And let’s hope against hope you don’t learn,
But some grown ups I fear may have no friends,
They just live their lives all alone.”

Top
——————————————————————

My Demons Come

My demons come!
I hear their taunting cries before I see their hate distorted faces
Borne on wing beats
As, beneath Night’s dark clouds
They race the setting sun.

Their cries echo
Within my vacuous skull.
The sound of wing beats
Escaping through my ears
As they call,… as they call!

Within my inner sphere
I cower.
Beaks and talons seeking for my Me.
Curled in self-protection
Beating with my knee.

The darkness now intense
As jet in lightless night
Their cries,
As arrows,
Pierce my skull.

How long it lasts!
With day succeeding day,
Each one as black
As night
In Earth’s mined womb

They feed!
These demons, how they feed!
On what of me
I do not know.
Top
——————————————————————

My Fair Love

Oh my Fair Love
What will it take
To get thee to
My bed ?

I’ll praise, if it will do the trick,
Thine eyes
Or, better yet,
Thy Glorious thighs

I’ll talk,
If that is thy desire,
Of how thou set’st
My Heart afire

Of how Hearts
Pound within their chest,
Knowing my eyes weigh
Each round breast

Of how willingly
Thy love I’d serve,
Whilst thinking of
Firm Buttocks curve

Its roundness
‘Neath my caressing palm
Whilst saying
I would take you in my arm

That we may walk
So all would see,
And think of my hand
Upon your knee

But Mistress if Love
Is all you’d know
Then, perhaps,
No further I should go

For both Love and Lust’s
Passion Red
Must have their place
Within my bed.
Top
——————————————————————

My Heart Hangs Still

My heart hangs
Like the clapper
Of a silent bell
In silent space
Where once rang
Deep resonance
Sound now echoes
Stirred by memories breeze

The attached rope
Unhanded
Unmoving
Stretched
Held still
By its weight

Unheard, unseen
By the passing world
The tower stands
Unchanged to all without
Yet all within
Stands still
Unchanging
Top
——————————————————————

No-thing

In silence
I hear
The no-thing
Of our conversation

In my silence
You hear
The no-thing
Of my thoughts

In our silence
We fear
The no-thing
Of ourselves
Top
——————————————————————

Of Life and Love and Dust and Lust

These memories
I now retrieve
Of time together spent
I scarce believe.
Those hours in bed
When we made sport
And loved and laughed
And never thought
One day this
Will have an end
For in those days
I loved to send
Your body driving
To its final shiver
Between your legs
Our new made river
Which gave stillbirth
To our new life
For when our lives
Were lost in strife
To be my wife
You wanted not
No more desired
What you had got
No longer stood
Full square with me
‘Twas somewhere else
You’d rather be
And there you went
To seek anew
What never stood
Betwixt we two
And I am truly
Sad to say
You didn’t make
Your wedding day
And now perhaps
Learn to foretell
Before commit
Yourself to Hell
The difference
‘Tween love and lust
The one gives life
The other dust
Top
——————————————————————

On Winter

In heat of summer sun I soared,
Above the clouds
My vision unimpaired it seemed,
‘Till I looked down
Towards the earth.

Then came Autumn’s
Misty Morns,
Lying, like lovers’ breath,
‘Tween Mother Natures
Rounded hills,

Which warned,
Had I but wit to see,
Of Winter’s hard embraces
Following so soon behind
These vapour trails.

And then, tonight,
While gazing out
On earth-lit blue black sky,
There flies the Moon,
Ringed with Winter’s glee,

And on Earth’s sphere,
And all around,
Like jewels spread for free
By Jack Frost’s cold and shiny hand,
‘Tis ice now stalks my land.
Top
——————————————————————

Resurection

With you I rose again
From where I’d curled
Shrivelled
After the climax of my life
Had left me spent
Drained of the essence
I perceived as me

Help me now to rise again
As you did then so oft’
Before your glory left
My plainer sphere
For your now and where’er
Top

——————————————————————

Surrounded

The black mists surround me.
I can smell them in air,
And ‘though I cannot see them,
I know that they are there.

They skirmish through the undergrowth,
Lie hidden in the trees,
But I won’t let them fry my brain,
No, they won’t capture me.

I’m stronger now than ever I was,
In body, speech and mind.
I’ll concentrate upon my breath,
Until I free my mind.
Top
——————————————————————

The Black Mists

The Black Mists descend
And through them I see
Those for whom I care
And who care for me
Oh why can’t I tell them
Oh why can’t they see
It’s really not them
It really is me
Top
——————————————————————

The Last Pint

I got some sad news today,
A friend of mine has passed away.
Harold Godbert, gone to rest;
Dementia now can’t be a pest.
From great heights Harold used to drop
And hope his ‘chute would make him stop,
But now his life’s come to its end
And Harold’s learned to parascend,
To Wetherspoons’, up in the sky,
“Mines a pint Harold. I’ll be there, by and bye.”

Top
————————————————————————————-

Words

I have no words to say
The way I feel right now
No lows no highs
Nor any other how

To call and hold in silence
Growing louder as time ticks by
Wanting to speak not knowing what to say
And daring not to try

To be understood
Is all we want
To communicate at will
We’re articulate, both you and I, so tell me why we can’t

Our past lives ? Our attitudes ?
Perhaps it’s just free will
Whatever the cause this much I know
It makes my mind feel ill
Top
——————————————————————

You

Each night I slide
Into my bed
Wishing
It were you

Each night I slide
Into my sleep
Wishing
It were you

Each night I slide
Into my dreams
Hoping
I meet you
Top

——————————————————————

Wanted to Die
A year ago
I wanted to die
Ask me no questions
And then I won’t lie

The Universe
had the best of the joke
The cancer it sent
Left me unbroke

It wasn’t too easy
I’m battered, I’m bruised
And my body still tells me
“I’ve been abused”

The chemo drugs
Left me flat on the floor
And sometimes I struggled
To get to the door

The drugs
Are now done
With life renewed,
I’m looking for fun

I want to repay
All those who helped me
It’s not money I’ll use
I’ll just be happy

And never again
Let my morale fold
To the point where I want
My body to be cold
Top

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One response to “My Poems

  1. Pingback: Neither the best of endings or beginnings | exiledtyke

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