Almost two years ago…

I have a strange feeling tonight as it is almost exactly two years ago since I was waiting to go for a biopsy to confirm that I had cancer, and tonight I’m waiting to go for surgery tomorrow to have my port taken out. It’s a strange feeling because in those two years so much of my life has changed. Two years ago I was newly arrived in the U.S. and awaiting confirmation that I could become a resident – there’s a certain synchronicity here as I’m now awaiting confirmation that I may become a permanent resident, without a job whereas now I have been working since August, and a U.S. medical system virgin whereas now I have had a lot of experience of said medical system, in so many ways I am now a very different person to the one I was two years ago. It’s also strange because I have been waiting to update this blog for quite a few weeks, since I got the all clear on my last CT scan and knew the port would be coming out, the delay was caused because at the time I got the all clear I discovered that one of my blogging friends had died and, although I’d never met Jen in real life, I had derived a huge amount of support from her intelligent and insightful blogs: I found it difficult handling my own and my family’s feelings of joy at my news with my own sadness and the heartbreak which Jen’s family must have been feeling. That’s a conflict I haven’t yet truly come to terms with in my own mind, other than to accept that life goes on, but tomorrow, as I make my way into surgery, I will be thinking not only of Jen but of all the others, who unlike me, didn’t successfully make it to the far side of this disease. I’ll also be thinking of all those who supported me, not only my wife and family, but also the blogging community, friends, and, now, colleagues as well.

My wish for the New Year is that 2014 is the year in which those dedicated to destroying cancers will be successful on an unprecedented scale.


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