Monthly Archives: July 2012

Past, Present and Future

Tomorrow is a really important day for me as it will be the first time since the 7th February 2012 that I haven’t had the anti-cancer ABVD chemotherapy drugs pumped into my body on a fortnightly basis and I am sooooooo looking forward to that. For six months I’ve been feeling wretched from the chemo infusion and then gradually begun to feel a bit less wretched towards the end of the two weeks only to know that the day after the whole thing will start over again. Well, tomorrow it won’t! I know it will take some time for me to start to feel normal again, to look at my nails and not see the differently coloured “chemo band” on them. I know it will take time for me to regain muscle mass and that it will also take time for me to discover whether the damage done by the drugs to my heart and lungs is significant in the way it impacts on the kind of life I hope to lead. All of this has led me to start thinking about things I want to do as my health returns. I don’t mean “do” in the sense of “I want to bring about world peace” (although that would be nice!) but on a much more prosaic and very selfish level. It’s not definitive – actually at the moment it’s much more lustful, or, perhaps, hedonistic!

  1. Eat a salad
  2. Eat a crunchy apple with juice trickling down my chin
  3. Have my first post-chemo haircut
  4. Enjoy a long walk in the park
  5. Concentrate for several hours
  6. Get my Florida driver’s licence
  7. Drive a car with my wife as passenger instead of chauffeur
  8. Get a job
  9. Go shopping – I really can’t believe that one but it’s true!
  10. Go out for a meal
  11. Be around people
  12. Have enough energy to get out of the house whenever I want to
  13. Stay awake for more than three or four hours
  14. Linger in the library when choosing books
  15. Participate in a cancer research fund-raiser

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Filed under Cancer, cancer treatment, chemo, chemotherapy, Hodgkins Lymphoma

Wiggo wins the Yellow Jersey

For three weeks I’ve been watching Le Tour de France – well the highlights anyway as my chemo-brain could cope with that level of concentration – and have been utterly amazed and impressed by the performances of Team Sky, particularly Bradley Wiggins, Chris Froome and Mark Cavendish. Watching world champion Cavendish playing the domestique and bottle carrier was an amazing statement about team dynamics. A clean British cycling team not only winning the Tour but also having second place is amazing. Bring on the Olympics!!

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Filed under Cavendish, Froome, Tour de France, Wiggins

Research and information which might be useful

Below are some links to sites I’ve recently come across which deal with recent cancer research. Hope something here may help you.

Can aspirin help to stop cancer spreading? The answer seems to be “maybe”. Check out

Here’s a site I haven’t previously come across which details research projects. Unfortunately a link to the cancer pages won’t work so I’m afraid you’ll need to use the search box in the top right corner to go there. I couldn’t find a way keeping both relevance and date as filters so, assuming you go for relevance you’ll have to work your way through the various pages for the bang up the minute research.;jsessionid=LdqCPtnLL1c8nwMnB3v2GJyfGHwXznMxSLxKPJTFsCV2sllmGtRW!1287126019!854248404?_nfpb=true&_windowLabel=statesAndTerritories_4&_urlType=action&statesAndTerritories_4_action=selectState&statesAndTerritories_4_id=CT

EU approval of a new lung cancer drug, Xalkori,

I couldn’t find any way to shorten this title  “AT13148 Is a Novel, Oral Multi-AGC Kinase Inhibitor with Potent Pharmacodynamic and Antitumor Activity”

Neuroblastoma and crizotinib

“Critically, we demonstrate that selective inhibition of the enzyme RNA polymerase I, that is responsible for synthesising the major ribosomal components, can be used to selectively kill cancer cells while leaving normal cells untouched.”

“Lung cancer discovery confirms drug target’s potential”



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I’ve mentioned several times that one of my fears was that the chemotherapy would leave me nailed to the bathroom floor vomiting and I’ve thought myself very fortunate that this has not happened. Well last night it did – seven solid hours with an already empty stomach. Was it actually the chemo or just some bug as it’s now a full week since I had my last infusion? I don’t know, and, to be honest, I don’t really care, I just know that I’m glad it ended especially as I wasn’t able to swallow and keep down any medication during those hours.

Today I feel much, much better, fatigued but then that now seems to be a totally normal state of existence, just as being unable to get to sleep until dawn and then needing an afternoon nap also seems perfectly normal.

My hair is now visible! There’s still a lot of skin showing but I have every confidence that my pate will have a proper covering relatively soon, and, presumably, soon after that, the rest of my hair will start growing back in – I do miss eyelashes more than I ever thought possible!

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New cancer research

An interesting article from New York Times on a new approach to treating cancer.

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Filed under Cancer, cancer research, cancer treatment, chemo, chemotherapy

Blowing in the wind

Like most, if not all, cancer patients undergoing chemo most of my hair fell out a while ago since when it’s been growing back slowly though I still seem to have less than many a new-born babe, but, today, I got a real buzz when I was walking and could feel the air stir my hair. It’s not much is it, but, it gave me a real spring in my step after what has been a tough two weeks of fatigue.

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Filed under Cancer, chemo, chemotherapy

If a lie isn’t a lie, is it a falsehood or the truth in masquerade?

This looks like such a simple question doesn’t it? It appears that it isn’t.  If, for example, one person, let’s call them A has a history going back over several years of misstating the events of a series of interactions between themself and another person, let’s call them B just to keep it all annonymous, and always to the detriment of person B, can it be said that person A is lying?

First of all let’s look at what a lie is. Wikipedia defines it thus: “To lie is to hold something which one knows is not the whole truth to be the whole truth, intentionally.”

I find this to be an interesting statement for many reasons. “to hold something which one knows is not the whole truth to be the whole truth”. This seems such an obvious statement doesn’t it, but in reality it may be quite complex. Let’s, for instance, take the cases of “witnesses” to a car accident. There is disagreement amongst them as to what happened. This can, easily, be put down to different perspectives, people standing in different places, beginning to notice events at different times and so on. Such people aren’t lying when they give their version of events, they are merely mistaken in their belief that what they report was the whole of the incident, and the respective lawyers will seek to clarify things by questioning. If, however, one of those witnesses is the driver of one of the cars who says that he was paying attention to the road and that his passenger was the one using the driver’s phone and not the driver himself, a “fact” corroborated by the passenger, when the truth is that it was the driver on the phone, then clearly both the driver and passenger are lying. Let’s take another example in order to examine the issue of the false statement being made intentionally. Someone, let’s call them , convinces themself that something which didn’t happen did; they claim to genuinely believe what they say and express surprise when told it didn’t happen that way. Is that a lie? Well, clearly, on the face of it, according to the Wikipedia definition it isn’t. If, however, person  A, has a history going back over several years of making this kind of statement about person B, then I submit that the statement can have been said to have been made intentionally. So, one part of the definition can be said to have been proved and yet it fails on the second part, the statement is not a lie. The question, in this circumstance must be asked, if it isn’t a lie what then is it?

In the blog killermovies Atlantis001 comments:”

“Lie is to intentionally make a false statement to mislead someone. Lie would be about our intentions, not about how we classify our senteces. (sic)” So, in the example we are looking at the question remains whether or not A knows that they are making a false statement, presumably as before we have to question the genuineness of that belief and come to the conclusions we did above. The second of Atlantis001’s sentences, however, poses a very different test, looking as it does at the intentions of the speaker, in this case A. Now, it is my belief that, under this second test, A can be said to have lied, as there is a long history of this kind of statement all with the intention of harming or damaging B.
On the same blog winddancer writes “…a lie is nothing more than a deception trying to mislead another person.” Again this appears to be a straightforward test, but, again, begs the question of deception with someone capable of convincing themselves that what they said happened did happen even though in reality it didn’t. Can such a person be capable of creating a deception? Certainly in the situation I am trying to examine I believe there was an intention to mislead a third person so I believe there was such a deception though I fully accept that others might disagree with me.
soleran30 adds their thoughts: “I believe the point to be is if you make a point to go out of your way to decieve someone for your own gain (money, politics, information) then you are creating a lie”. Under this definition the issue still turns upon the genuineness of A‘s belief. If there is an established pattern of making harmful, false statements about B then could A be said to be making a point of going out of their way to deceive someone, in this case the aforementioned third party? I believe so.

BBC articlecomments: “Lying is a form of deception, but not all forms of deception are lies”. So, are the statements which I have attributed toA deceptions? If they are deceptions are they then lies? Let’s delve further. as the article continues,”A lie has three essential features:

  • A lie communicates some information
  • The liar intends to deceive or mislead
  • The liar believes that what they are ‘saying’ is not true”
In our case was there some information communicated? Yes, quite clearly there was. Did person A intend to deceive or mislead? In the case in point my contention would be that the long history of such statements indicates that they did, though others would disagree. Did person A genuinely believe that on those several occasions over the years they were always speaking the truth? We cannot know for sure, but, once again, I believe the consistent behaviour would suggest that they either did, or, alternatively, that they chose to convince themself that it was the truth which to my mind amounts to the same thing. As with the questions above, if it is not a lie what then is it as it is clearly not the truth? offers a different definition:

“1. a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; anintentional untruth; a falsehood.

2. something intended or serving to convey a false impression;imposture: His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one.
3. an inaccurate or false statement.”
Let’s look at statement 1. I have already examined the first and second parts of this definition and have nothing further to offer, but, what about the word “falsehood”. It’s a wonderful word isn’t, conveying as it does something of an earlier, perhaps more mannerly time, when someone might well say, “I do not accuse the gentleman of lying, but I do accuse him of uttering a falsehood!” Perhaps, that’s the answer to my question! A lie is not a lie when it is a falsehood! Or perhaps Lord Byron was correct when he wrote :
“And, after all, what is a lie? ‘Tis but the truth in masquerade”

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