Light at the end of the tunnel

Another infusion tomorrow and then only one more to go! I can hardly believe I am nearly at the end.

I looked back over some of my blogs the other night when I couldn’t sleep and was surprised at how low I had sunk at times – memory plays strange tricks doesn’t it! I suppose what I should take from that is that although I’ve bounced along the bottom a few times there’s always been a phase of improving afterwards and, since hitting my nadir the general direction has been upwards.

It has been a long journey, both physically in terms of restrictions on my mobility and emotionally in terms of my response to the cancer and to the chemo, and also to the restrictions on my mobility! I’ve found being more or less housebound and unable to get out and about to be very difficult. Hopefully, once I am physically over all this, I will remember the evenings when it took me twenty minutes to do the chemo shuffle to the end of the road and back, the days when I was desperate for someone to come home to talk to me, the days when I couldn’t hold a thought for a count of two and sometime not even for a count of one, the days when I would sleep 18 hours out of 24 and doze for the other 6. Hopefully I will work at enjoying every minute of the days of life I have left, days I wouldn’t have without the work of many, many people whom I’ve never met and whose names are unknown to history, days I wouldn’t have without the love and support of family and friends. I’d also like to thank those of you who’ve given me your support by responding to my blogs, especially when I was down, it helped, it really, really did.



Filed under Cancer, chemo, chemotherapy

6 responses to “Light at the end of the tunnel

  1. That’s great news! Good luck getting through the end of the treatment, and enjoy your time post treatment. Oh, just a warning, I’ve found there’s a bit of a letdown afterwards due to sheer emotional exhaustion. And I didn’t go through anything as rigorous as chemo.

  2. Sarah

    I am so excited for you! Congratulations!

    • Thank you. I have to admit to being pretty excited for myself too. There was a really great feeling of ‘almost there and not long before you won’t be seeing us again’ feeling from Dr Tache and Lisa and Audrey the oncology nurses who always have a smile and supportive words for patientd and families. The length of the journey seems much shotrer looking back than it ever did looking forwards and I wonder why I let the time factor get to me so much.

      • Sarah

        I’m amazed at how quickly my mind and body forget pain. It’s been months and it feels eras away.

      • Each two weeks I forget how low I felt the two weeks before when I last had the infusion, and how long those effects last, so, yes, I can easily imagine how your treatment feels ears away. I hope I have that feeling pretty soon lol

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