It has been quite a long time since I posted here, and that has been for a few reasons.
The first is that there’s been little or nothing new to say. Maybe this is why so many cancer blogs just seem to be left hanging in the air; the bloggers simply tire of writing the same thing and eventually stop doing so until things change and then have got out of the habit of posting.
The second is that I’ve been so damnably tired. There have been times when I have literally crawled up the stairs on all fours simply because I didn’t have the energy to co-ordinate the process of standing and doing so on two feet.
So, what has changed in my life these past few weeks? Well I suppose the first thing to look at is the medical record. My health insurer refused the MUGA scan but was willing to agree to an echocardiogram but the process of doing so meant that I couldn’t go for the echo test until three days after my next appointment with my oncologist, so I will now have to wait until the middle of next week to get the results from that. Other than that absolutely nothing has changed, except, as mentioned above, my levels of fatigue continue to grow. There have been days this past week when I slept for 18 hours out of 24 and was still tired during the remaining six hours. This fatigue is beginning to have an impact on family life as I am simply not around to join in and on top of this my wife is struggling very badly with an allergy which means she can’t spend more than 30 or 40 minutes in the house without a violent reaction and is having to sleep in the car at night, and I’m simply not awake/alert enough to be much use in giving her much support in her battle. We’ve had the experts in to check things but they can’t find a mold source. It’s been suggested that it might be in the A/C but we’ve been told it’s not in the A/C. An air sampling test indicated higher levels of mold upstairs than downstairs – not much higher but still enough to suggest there may be a “mold reservoir” but we’ve no idea where it is and we’re waiting for the insurer to give the OK for the specialist to carry out more tests even though he had no real idea of where it might be.
At the minute life just isn’t much fun for any of us, but we’re keeping on, and, eventually we will come through the other side.