Everything I’ve read about cancer and its treatment states that peace and calm are healing qualities, but how do you go about getting them?
Last night I flared up over something and nothing in the supermarket, and that was after a good day in which the doctor had said I was healing well following which we’d called for English style fish and chips in the Kings Head Pub on North University Drive (which really does have a good feel to it), so I was feeling good and positive and then BAM!!!, from out of nowhere. From out my own inner tension is probably a much better and more honest answer. How does one come down from such a situation? Well, a good starting point is an apology which I duly made, but, effective though that might be, it does nothing to quell the chemicals coursing around my body or the electrical surges around my brain or the winds which really do toss my mind at such times. My answer was meditation, it’s something I’ve been doing now for a good many years, and, when I get it right, I feel some sort of tickle inside my skull, it’s a very pleasant calming sensation and one which I never really understood, however, yesterday I read this article from the BBC which really made me wonder whether what I’ve been feeling are these changing electrical patterns. Anyone out there with the ability to test me for free please let me know!
So, to get back on point, I did a long and, I think, very beneficial meditation upon the breath which left me calm enough to enjoy a long night’s sleep, around 9 hours I think which is very rare for me.
Today the question of how you go about getting peace and calm raised itself once again, not from me, or from my wife, but from an external source and I find myself wondering, how does one insulate oneself from the chaos which can be introduced by a third party, a third party with emotional needs which can be both overwhelming and all-consuming? The easy answer of course is just to cut off and say “No involvement” but, short of going and becoming a hermit – something which I fear I am constitutionally unsuited to doing as I am most definitely a “people-person” – that won’t work, and it seems to me that if Buddhism has anything inherently valuable it is in enabling one to live in and interact positively with the world – to interbe as Tich Nhat Han says, and believe me I do want to interbe with the world. I am of the world, in the world, and have no wish to leave it any sooner than needs be. So, withdrawing from the world is not for me and I suppose the answer therefore lies in developing my own mind in such a way that when next this whirlpool of emotional destruction hurtles upon me my mind will be strong enough and relaxed enough to remain calm and to be calm for those around me.
This is the first time I’ve written something in the blog which I didn’t really find satisfactory, but then perhaps that’s a consequence of the turmoil I feel at the moment, so, off to meditation I guess.